UNEDITED – Fikile Mbalula Responds To Ntsiki Mazwai: B*tch You Are A Spotlight Parasite!

Miss Mazwai – sana u’wrong’o!!! Let me first congratulate you on getting attention – AT LAST! You were SPOT ON about me not knowing who you are, until someone mentioned “that attention-seeking crack-head is Thandiswa Mazwai’s sister”.

No need to pardon my “ignorance”. How am I ignorant if the entire country doesn’t even know who you are? Let me quickly #RealityCheck you: BIATCH YOU ARE NOT FAMOUS, LET ALONE TALENTED. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SPOTLIGHT PARASITE, SEEKING FAME THROUGH YOUR SISTER’S GLORY!!! One would swear you and Solanje Knowles were cut from the same cloth.

As a Minister, I wouldn’t normally entertain this but you have touched a topic I feel strongly about: Beyonce! Anyone with a brain would tell you: DON’T GO THERE!!!

Let me address your rather incoherent open letter. You were probably high when you wrote it, so I pardon you (…you’re welcome). You are busy calling me a Minister of Beyonce when everybody knows I’m a Minister of Selfies. In future, please do your homework before penning open letters.

You are busy saying our country is rich with talent. Do you call one-line-songs like ‘imoto etjontj’imali’ talent? South Africans glorify mediocrity and I refuse to be part of such nonsense. You get talentLESS groups like Durban Finest and Zahara being flooded with awards. Sorry madam, I will not be wasting taxpayers’ money on people who are not making any creativity effort.

I love American artists because they take their craft seriously. They invest their all in ensuring that they give us quality music. You say my beloved Beyonce is not more talented than any of our own? You must be drunk Missy! Show me one South African artist who can compete with Beyonce and I will buy you a jet (like she did for JayZ).

I will dress however I like, just like you dress however you like. Questioning my dress sense when you go around naked nobody ever said your dress sense is an invitation for prostitution. You outfits are fit for what Zulus call “seqa mgwaqo”. For your information, Beyonce does respond to my tweets from time-to-time, so I will pardon your ignorance.

You can’t blame me for your inability to pay rent when you are busy investing all your energy in attacks than self development. Instead of personal attacks, why can’t you rather come to me and we can help you develop your talent? Writing open letters and creating FAKE Fikile Mbalula accounts can’t be your hustle.

If only you were as good in music as you are in writing open letters, then people would take you seriously.

Thanks! Bye!

Regards,
Fikile ‘Razmatazz’ Mbalula
RSA Minister of Sport

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MTN Joyous Celebration to Record Latest Album in Soweto

Multi award-winning gospel group, MTN Joyous Celebration are putting final touches to their much anticipated recording of their new CD and DVD at the Grace Bible Church in Soweto, Pimville on 19-21 December 2014.

This will be first time that the multitudes of fans of MTN Joyous Celebration will be exposed to the material from the upcoming album, live on stage by the choir led by the incredibly talented musical genius that is Lindelani Mkhize with the Sunday show (21 December) broadcast live on SABC 1.

“We are very excited about the upcoming recording of MTN Joyous Celebration 19 which will see the group break new ground yet again by performing in Soweto for the first time ever. Our partnership with MTN Joyous Celebration further affirms our support for South African music and musicians and we look forward to another blockbuster event at the Grace Bible Church”, said Larry Annetts; MTN SA Chief Marketing Officer.

Having performed to sold out audiences countrywide throughout 2014 with their “One Purpose” tour, MTN Joyous Celebration are expected to draw record numbers to the recording of their 19th album with their first ever performance in Soweto.

“From our rehearsals I can safely say that our fans should prepare to be blessed, not only will with a fresh different sound but it will take them back to the very first time they fell in love with gospel music and the MTN Joyous Celebration brand” added Lindelani Mkhize co-founder of the ensemble.

Tickets are on sale and are selling out fast. Prices start at R150 and they can be booked via http://www.computicket.com or any Shoprite/Checkers outlet.

For more information and updates; join My Joyous Celebrationon Facebook and follow @joyousSA on twitter.

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EXPOSED: Senzo Meyiwa Was Born in 1987 – His Twin in 1982!!!!

Senzo Meyiwa always maintained (in fact, insisted) that he was born on the 24th of September 1987. However, an epitaph on Siya Meyiwa’s tombstone “stipulates” he was born in 1982. For those who don’t read, Siya is Senzo’s late twin brother.

Let’s get this right: the two were born twins, yet are five years apart. This is either MAGIC or someone LIED about his age (you do the math!!!)…

Anyway, Sunday World and The Juice are reporting that Senzo Meyiwa’s family wants to dig up his grave. This is reportedly because they want to reunite him with his twin brother Siya, who drowned when he was in Grade 2.

According to the tabloid, the boys were swimming at Isiphingo beach with their father, Sam, and a friend. While Senzo was rescued, it was too late to help Siya.

The paper is reporting that Siya’s remains will be exhumed from Madlakeni Cemetery and put in the same grave with Senzo at Heroes Acre in Chesterville, KwaZulu-Natal. This is apparently according to Zulu tradition, which states that twins must be buried next to each other.

A close family friend told Sunday World that the Meyiwas were in talks with government.

”The family held a meeting where it was discussed that two people who were born at the same time cannot sleep in two separate places. They have to be laid to rest together.”

A senior KZN government official confirmed that a request was made by the family. “The matter is now being discussed within government but I don’t think a decision will be made soon. Things like this normally take months because of its legal nature. All due process has to be followed.”

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Delicious International Food & Music Festival Goes to Cape Town

SA’S BIGGEST FOOD AND MUSIC FESTIVAL COMES TO THE MOTHER CITY FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS DECEMBER!!!

Experience a global culinary adventure while partying to the sounds of six award-winning acts including the UK’s Soul II Soul and SA’s MiCasa.

South Africa’s biggest food and music extravaganza – the not-to-be-missed DStv Delicious International Food & Music Festival, presented by Nedbank – makes its debut in Cape Town on Sunday, December 28, 2014 and promises to be the holiday season’s hottest ticket.

The event promises a feast of food to tantalise the taste buds as well as world-class entertainment from a lineup that includes UK acid jazz and funk pioneers Brand New Heavies and British club favourites Soul II Soul.

They will be joined by award-winning South African acts Freshly Ground, MiCasa and The Soil along with Cape Town’s modern folk artist Jeremy Loops in a day-long feast of food and music, aimed at those with a sense of adventure and a passion for the tastier side of life.

Visitors will experience flavourful local street food at the Delicoius gourmet market with a variety of food booths, mobile kitchens and food trucks to choose from. Festival goers also have the choice of dining at the pop up ‘Delicious Restaurant’ hosted by award-winning South African chef Garth Stroebel or try beef on an authentic Argentinian BBQ.

Hamilton’s Rugby Club and surrounding common fields in Greenpoint offer the perfect setting for this flavoursome banquet of great food and music.

General admission for the DStv Delicious Festival is R450. Delicious Lounge pass tickets are R850 and includes tented lounge, VIP parking, VIP entrance, Premium Cash Bar and VIP bathrooms.

Visit http://www.computicket.com or phone 0861 915 8000 to book. The DStv Delicious International Food & Music Festival, presented by Nedbank is held in proud association with Whirlpool, Castle Milk Stout, Mitsubishi Motors and Nescafé Dolce Gusto.

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Meet Zuma’s Nyatsi!!!

ELLEN TSHABALALA’S qualifications as SABC board chairwoman have been questioned. But Sunday Sun can now reveal that she did graduate…

FROM THE JACOB ZUMA SCHOOL OF LOVE!

Ellen and the “father of the nation” have allegedly been an item for years. And this well-kept secret has become the subject of gossip in the corridors of power, at Luthuli House and Parliament.

When asked to comment on the allegations yesterday, Ellen Tshabalala said: “What is your agenda? she asked. “Niyasihlukumeza (You are harassing me) on a Saturday by phoning me.

“Do you want to discredit the President? My answer to your entire enquiry is, no one is protecting me and I don’t have a relationship with the President,” she said.

But no fewer than four independent sources close to the President have confirmed the rumours. These sources have requested anonymity for fear of losing their jobs.

Source No 1 made these allegations to the People’s Paper: “This is what we call a well-known secret. It’s actually an old story. They have a thing for each other.

“The woman is behaving like this because she has protection from him. She is a diva of note and very pompous.

She won’t listen to you because she has a direct line to Number One – both to his office and in bed.

“Her rise to the SABC leadership was not a mistake but by influence from Number One. Zuma has lots of wives but Ellen is a makhwapheni who knows her place,” said the source.

Source No 2 claimed: “The president used to visit her house in Bryanston and leave his bodyguards outside. Unfortunately, Zuma can’t marry her and she knows it.

“He can’t afford to marry her as he has a lot on his plate with Nkandla and Gupta. Another wife could create a scandal.”

Source No 3 alleged: “Zuma’s thing with Ellen goes beyond a working relationship. He used to go to see her only at night.  

Her ex-husband was kicked out of the house on a number of occasions when he was there to visit his kids. When Zuma arrived, the poor ex-husband was told to leave immediately.”

Source No 4 alleged that the hot affair has been going on for more than four years. “When the President got married to Bongi Ngema in 2012, Ellen was hoping it was going to be her. She pressurised him to marry her but she failed,” said the insider.

Last week, when the Sun Team asked Zuma’s spokesman Mac Maharaj for a comment on the allegations, he said: “Konakele Konakele Madoda! (Things are bad).

Ellen is the second chairwoman of a state parastatal to be linked with the President. Last week Mail Guardian claimed that our busy-in-the-bedroom president was in an intimate relationship with high-flying SAA chair, Dudu Myeni.

Tshabalala is currently caught up in a controversy over her qualifications. She allegedly lied about her academic record, claiming an uncompleted course of study as a full university degree. She continues to defend her position despite strong evidence against her.

Last week the matter reached the Western Cape High Court, which ruled against her. This has paved the way for a parliamentary committee to start investigating Tshabalala.

Last year, reports suggested that the royal family in Swaziland is growing impatient with President Zuma for not marrying Princess Sebentile Dlamini. He paid lobola for Sebentile in 2002 but has not moved forward with the marriage. Sebentile would have been his fifth wife.  

Zuma currently has four wives but has been married six times. His wife Kate died and he divorced Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma. – Sunday Sun

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Dineo Ranaka Now Lesbian?

TV STAR Dineo Ranaka seems to have found “love” after her much publicised break-up with longtime boyfriend, Blaklez!

This week social media was abuzz with a photo of her “new lover”, Relo Mosiya.

But Dineo was quick to rubbish the claims.

She said: “I’m not lesbian, ntwana. I love my gay and lesbian community very much. I love my man very much, thank you, bye!”

Sunday Sun was told Dineo and Relo met a few months ago and immediately fell in love.

Insiders close to the couple revealed that Dineo and Relo are lovey dovey.

“Dineo and Relo normally go to Eskhaleni chisa nyama in Katlehong, Ekurhuleni. They like to chill inside the car when they are there.

“They would talk, kiss and hug without caring about who is watching. Relo has also taken her to gay nightclubs in Joburg where they’ll bless themselves with fire waters,” said a friend of the couple.

Another source at a trendy gay nightclub, called Liquid Blue, in Melville, Joburg said they are regulars there.

“She looks happy and told me she would never want to fall in love with a man in her life,” said a friend.

Dineo and Blaklez broke up last year. Early this year, Sunday Sun reported that Dineo had found love with a Nigerian guy named Vincent.

In the third season of Dineo’s Diary, Dineo referred to Vincent as “my man, my king and my Zorro.”

The two were working on a TV pilot show titled, DRS. Relo was not available for comment. Her phone rang unanswered. – Sunday Sun

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Thuli Madonsela to Investigate Zuma’s Virility: Can It Still Stand Up?

He has 4 wives, 21 children and counting. His wives alone cost taxpayers a shocking R54.6 million, while his children are busy crashing government funded luxury cars and killing people in the process. To add salt to injury, his rented uncles are currently ‘in talks’ about him taking the fifth wife.

In light of this, the DA has lodged a formal complaint to the Office of the Public Protector. Admittedly, their request is the most bizarre (if not thee most ludicrous) of them all: For Thuli Madonsela to investigate President Jacob Zuma’s virility.

“… Given his age and deteriorating health, the DA would like to establish, once and for all, if it’s necessary for the president of the republic, the honorable Jacob Zuma, to have these many wives, let alone take on the fifth one,” the official complaint read in part.

“… As biology dictates, we are of a firm belief that a man of his age is susceptible to physical challenges, these includes inevitable testosterone and sexually related hurdles. As such, we feel his wives have become white elephants, therefore an unnecessary burden to taxpayers,” the complaint further elaborated.

The complaint went on to say: “To lessen this unnecessary burden of over R54.6m taking care of these white elephants, the DA therefore requests the public protector to investigate president Jacob Zuma’s virility, particularly to establish, amongst other things, whether;

a). The honorable President Jacob Zuma is able to fulfill his manly duties as a husband,

b). The honorable President Jacob Zuma is sexually fit to marry wife number five and,

c). Make a recommendation on whether the honorable President Jacob Zuma should cut down on the number of his current wives or not

“It is naturally, physically, psychologically and spiritually known that for any couple to be classified as having a healthy marriage, sexually related action should take place. If such physical action no longer exist, then such a couple can no longer be classified as happily married, but rather emotionally and/or financially dependent on either party.

“We, as the DA, strongly feel that this issue is crucial and should be of public interest in that this country, particularly tax payers, are clothing, transporting and housing the president’s immediate family members to the tune of R54.6m.

“Should the investigation reveal that the honorable president Jacob Zuma is unable to fulfill his bedroom duties as a husband, then logic dictates it is thus pointless for him to have so many wives, and perhaps sticking to wife number one and cutting all ties with the rest might be a strategic and economic way forward….”

The DA has shockingly requested the public protector to send president Jacob Zuma to a Urology clinic for his virility to be analysed accordingly. This includes assessing any erectile dysfunction, penis size, whether the president is circumcised or not, low ejaculation issues, how long does his sexual performance last etc.

Thuli Madonsela’s office has confirmed receipt of what they dub a strange and controversial case yet, after Nkandla.

“Much as we welcome every complaint, it is important to note that every case will be scrutinized according to its own merit. This particular case borders between the infringement of a human’s right to privacy and dignity, and the issue of public interest, particularly because in this instance, taxpayers’ money is being used. Should we take a decision to pursue this matter, members of the media will be promptly informed,” read an email response from Thuli Madonsela.

Presidential spokesman, Mac Maharaj, refused to comment on the matter.

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