Win Tickets to the SANDTON CRAFT BEER FAIR this Weekend!!!

Spring has sprung in full bloom and Johannesburg’s most popular Beer Fair is readying itself for a fantastic weekend of fun, food, live music and beer.

This fabulous Sandton affair, taking place from the 20th to the 21st of September 2014, boasts a total of 15 wide spread breweries with over 40 different selections of beers and ciders alongside the delicious variety of food vendors, from Mexican to a Champagne Oyster Bar.

Over the past few years South Africa has experienced an enormous hike in the craft beer market and it has become a growing trend. The Sandton Craft Beer Fair brings South Africa’s most exclusive breweries together and offers the public an experience of tasting, learning and enjoying about the beers and ciders on offer.

Bring your friends, family and dress in your favourite Spring attire and come and enjoy the Sandton Craft Beer Fair!

Kids play area will be available (FREE entrance for kids under 12)…

Venue: The Sands: 58 Wierda Road East, Sandton, Johannesburg
Date: Saturday, 20th September and Sunday, 21st September 2014
Time: Doors open at 11AM
Tickets: R150 (Door), R120 (Pre-sold)

Pre-sold tickets can be purchased via www.thesands.nutickets.co.za/events

Wanna Win 4 Tickets To This Va Va Voom Experience?

Simply email your full names, date of birth, email address and cellphone number to news@lifestyletabloids.co.za using the word “Competition” in your subject line.

The winner will be notified via email by Friday, close of business.

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COW GAVE BIRTH TO A CALF WITH HUMAN FEATURES!

THE cow must have been sexually abused, people say. She gave birth to a calf with a strange head, and male and female sex organs.
 
NOW THE GOVERNMENT WANTS TO TEST THE CALF TO SEE IF IT’S HALF HUMAN!
 
The Mlangeni homestead is being flooded by curious residents who want to see the creature born to a cow named Nyamazane.
 
Sebenzile Mlangeni (60), from Emazizini Village, outside Bergville in north-western KZN, told Daily Sun the cow gave birth on Sunday.
 
“At about 12pm I saw cow legs coming out of Nyamazane, but I realised she was in pain and it was taking longer than normal for the birth process to finish,” Sebenzile said.
 
“After a while I called my kids to come help. After pulling the dead calf out we got the shock of our lives when we saw that the head looked like a human’s.
 
“Some residents have said that the cow may have been sexually abused in the veld where she grazes.
 
“We do not know whether to bury it like a human baby or maybe send it to doctors to assess it,” said Sebenzile.
 
News of the strange birth spread fast. The Sun Team saw people arriving at the homestead in taxis on Monday.
 
The news shocked Ukhahlamba mayor Thulani Sibeko, who sent a ward councillor and induna to find out how true the rumour was.
 
“When the family sent me the picture I thought it was photoshopped,” Sibeko said.
 
Induna Mfana Malinga and ward councillor Vusi Hlatshwayo said they were shocked by what they found.
 
“I’m 80 years old but I have never heard of this before,” Induna Malinga said.
 
“This is a first in this area. We only know an old isiZulu saying: inkomo ingazala umuntu, but this is shocking.”
 
Head of the department of agriculture in Bergville, Zama Nkosi said he had sent his officials to talk to the family so they can give the calf to the department.
 
“We want to have it checked at a lab to see if it’s blood and flesh have human connections,” Nkosi said.
 
The Malingas said that they are scared to slaughter Nyamazane for meat or a ceremony.
 
“We see her as a human, because she gave birth to a human,” Sebenzile said. “How can we eat her meat?” – Daily Sun

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Vaal Prostitute Uses Stop Watch to Calculate ‘Sex Bill’, Charges R10 Per Minute

A business-minded prostitute from Vereeniging says she offers the perfect deal for men who do not last long.

According to myzimbabwe.co.zw, she uses her cellphone as a stopwatch.

“Normally prostitutes charge R100 for a session in the CBD. Other prostitutes call me ‘Time-Keeper’ but it works wonders for me.”

“I used to charge the standard rates until I got a complaining client two months ago when a customer whose session lasted only two minutes felt it was unfair to pay R100.”

“I told him that if he came back I would charge him R10 a minute. Since then he’s been coming to me up to five times a day. His R100 gives him five sessions. He is a very happy client,” said Time-Keeper. – TimesLIVE

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SHOCKING: Mother And Daughter Are Now Lesbian Lovers

Mary and Vertasha Carter are more than mother and daughter. They are also lesbian lovers.

“Vertasha and I knew we were attracted to each other when she was sixteen,” Mary Carter said. “But we decided to wait to have sex until she was eighteen, legally of age. We are now going public with our relationship to help others who might be in gay mother/daughter relationship feel confident and okay about coming out. We want the world to know we love each other as mother and daughter and romantically.”

Laws forbid incest mostly because of inbreeding and the birth defects that can often come as a consequence.

“We’re women, so Vertasha and I obviously can’t make children,” Mary Carter said. “It’d be one thing if her daddy (he’s out of the picture) got her pregnant and a baby was born with deformities, but we’re not hurting anyone. We’re a new minority and just want acceptance.”

Vertasha is apparently happy with the relationship as well.

“My mom is still my mom. She does normal mom stuff: buys me clothes, pays for food, tells me to make our bed. We just happen to enjoy sex with each other too.”

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A PhD In Less Than Two Months? Grace Mugabe Masters The Art Of FAKE Degrees

With all respect, people deserve congratulations when they do well. When people work hard, and sweat for it, burning the candle all night long, they deserve the accolades.

This week many raised their eyebrows so hear that Grace Mugabe, of all academics, had earned a Doctorate degree. The truth is that she did not deserve it because she never worked for it.

Here is why:

A known Sociology Professor who loves Zanu-PF more than his own wife recommended that Amai must get this wonderful gift in return for favors in the party. This dumb Professor known by everyone to be eyeing for a post saw it fit that this scandal could be absorbed by the docile Zimbabwean community and be killed over time.

The same degree would also appeal to those foolish Zanu-PF youths and ignorant community women who sheepishly followed Zanu-PF without question. Grace would emerge as the right lady in shining armor, educated and all. In so doing many would actually forget that this fake degree would go a long way and shake the entire world as a scandal of all time.

She registered at the UZ in July 2014 and by September 11 2014, she had already completed her thesis thereby becoming one of the world’s fastest PhD earners in the world to date. She never had a Masters degree after she failed English with University of London. Then she studied Chinese language by correspondence and reportedly earned her Bachelors.

Nowhere is it reported as to how or where she earned her Masters degree. She even never had any independent foreign assessors for her thesis topic, never consulted on the topic as such and never even had a chance to research and compile the thesis , let alone defend her thesis. Suddenly, because Robert Mugabe is the President and Chancellor of the UZ, she just had to have it no matter what people would say. The truth was that the degree became fake from the start and will always remain so. It will never be acknowledged by anyone and will never work in any capacity. Even an honorary could be better because it comes with deserving merits.

Even as she had the degree conferred, she felt guilty because she is empty headed and never worked for it. Her speeches, conduct or even public standing do not by any means give an iota of what she studied.

Anyone would even be surprised to learn that she does not even know the implications of the so called Philosophy that she graduated in.

Added to that, she will find it even difficult to explain the modalities of a thesis. She has no clue of how an education system works yet she finds the audacity to push her husband to confer such a powerful degree to her. It’s like setting your own exam and grading it and making yourself a top achiever.

This was a public scandal of all time and it worked to compromise the education system of Zimbabwe in general. It would therefore, from now on, not be a surprise if she commands President Mugabe to confer more of these fake degrees to her family members for the fun of it.

These people destroyed the economy and now they are on their way into destroying the roots of our tertiary education. It just brings relief to me in that every right thinking citizen realizes this embarrassing public fraud and wonders what this means. No one even realized President Mugabe, educated as he is, would sink this low to command the UZ senate and council to award such a shallow-minded, empty-headed lady with such powerful credentials.

Degrees are not bought but are earned after research and hard work. This is not taking Zimbabwe anyway. It simply helps to portray to the world just how things have become.

Education has been inflated. The economy has been destroyed and ethics have been eroded.

This Monday morning, watch my words, corporate CEOs will be stepping on each other’s toes for media space to “congratulate Her Royal Highness” for this public fraud. It is now sad that in Zimbabwe people now worship the first family like they worship God. The foolish smiles, the desperate words of praise and the conduct by some men and women especially in Zanu-PF simply creates this satire that any terrace observer would cry over and regret being a Zimbabwean.

That is just how cheap some people in Zimbabwe have become. You wake up and are told your PhD is ready for pick up. You take a bath, brush your teeth and even have the courage to go and face the world and claim that you worked for it yet you really know deep down your heart that this is the scandal of all time. Shame on the First family. This is a disgrace of all time. – Bulawayo24 News

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Zuma’s Housewives: Drama & Rivalry at SABC

It was a clash that was apparently not captured on camera: a screaming match involving two of President Jacob Zuma’s wives in the SABC’s newsroom ahead of a Women’s Day TV show.

The incident – in front of SABC staff – followed an apparent mix-up, with the invitations being sent to Tobeka Madiba and Bongi Ngema.

The broadcaster sent two separate invitations to Zuma’s fourth and third wives respectively, hoping that one of them would honour the invite to discuss a range of women’s issues to mark the beginning of Women’s Month in August. Both women then arrived at the same time at the SABC studios in Auckland Park, Johannesburg.

It seems when Madiba and Ngema caught sight of one another in the TV newsroom on the third floor of the SABC building, both lost their temper. According to an SABC staff member who witnessed the incident and asked not to be named because she is not authorised to speak on behalf of the broadcaster, there was a lot of shouting and screaming.

The source said the first ladies accused the SABC of setting them up, and “other top executives such as head of TV news Jimi Matthews had to come and intervene”.

“One of Zuma’s wives threatened to call [SABC chief operating officer] Hlaudi [Motsoeneng] and believed this was a conspiracy against them. It was ugly and embarrassing.”

Invitation ‘Confusion’

Matthews confirmed this week “the confusion” about the invitations, but said the matter had been resolved amicably.

“But there was some confusion as to how the invitations were extended because both ladies showed up on the day.

“The producers of the show did try to persuade them to go ahead with the show, but the ladies just left. They felt they were being set up… But they [the two first ladies] are best suited to answer.

“There was an attempt for the producers to talk to them,” he said, adding that the broadcaster had “sincerely apologised” to the women.

“There was poor internal communication,” he said.

Another staff member, who did not witness the incident and also refused to be named for fear of reprisals, said: “Everyone was talking about the drama. I was surprised to hear the following morning that the two first ladies clashed in our newsroom. It was entertaining.”

Women’s Issues

Ngema and Madiba were invited by the producers of the SABC’s 24-hour news channel show The Newsroom, presented by Eben Jansen, to discuss women’s issues.

“[SABC] wanted to produce a Women’s Day show. The idea was to invite one of the first ladies to talk about their foundation and programmes relating to issues affecting women,” said another SABC news staff member close to the show, who spoke to the Mail & Guardianon condition of anonymity.

She said the show had to be cancelled because the two women did not want to participate in the interview – either together or separately.

Jansen could not be reached for comment and did not respond to phone calls and voice messages.

Matthews explained that the invitations had been sent out by two units – one by The Newsroom and the other by the channel head – which led to each of the first ladies being sent an invitation.

He was adamant that the producers did not orchestrate the chaos.

Public Rivalry

This is not the first time Zuma’s wives have been involved in public displays of rivalry.

The Times reported in January 2010 that Zuma’s second wife, Nompumelelo Ntuli, snubbed his wedding to Madiba and that the two are said to be extremely jealous of each other.

Another incident when Zuma’s younger spouses showed their dislike for each other was when he delivered his State of the Nation address to Parliament in 2009. Madiba appeared to have shoved Ntuli aside to position herself closest to the president for a photograph.

At the time, Zuma was standing between Ntuli and his first wife, MaKhumalo, when Madiba appeared to elbow her way between them so she could stand closest to the president.

Media reports say the fights started when Ntuli and Madiba moved to the president’s homestead in Nkandla.

The M&G sought comment from Ngema and Madiba, who had not responded at the time of going to press. – Mail & Guardian

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Gear Up for the 5th Annual Vaal Beach Party 2014!!!

To kick start epic festivities leading to the 5th Annual Vaal Beach Party main event, Masia Sound Productions (MSP) is very excited to announce an electric comedy session featuring SA’s top award winning comedians such as Mashabela, Trevor Gumbi, Sammy Fever and Vaal Finest Comedians to name-drop a few.

The comedy session will be held on Wednesday, 24th September 2014 at Vereeniging Civic Theatre. Doors open at 18:00 and the event starts at 7pm-11pm. Tickets are now available at all Computicket outlets nationwide from R120 and R150 at the door (Tickets are only limited to 800). Drinks and food will be sold at the venue. Free secured parking and disabled facilities are available.

The fun continues with The Pre-Party at Mbazo Lounge in Vanderbijlpark on Friday, 26th September 2014 from 7pm-2am. The Pre-Party is set to create hype and showcase Vaal’s upcoming DJ’s. There will be entertainment by SA’s top deejays and Vaal finest including the likes of Vetkuk vs Mahoota, Major Leguez DJz, Goddard, Hydro, Kevin, Graveyard and more… Tickets will be available at the door for R50 before 10pm and R80 thereafter (Tickets are limited to 1000). Drinks and food will be sold at the venue and parking with patrol marshals will be available at per tip. Strictly no under 18’s.

The 5th Annual Vaal Beach Party main event, to be held on Saturday 27 September 2014 from 12pm-5am at Dickinson Park by the river banks in Vereeniging, is said to be thee most anticipated and attended of the entire weekend. This year the event is set to be hosting +/- 15 000 people from all over South Africa and neighbouring countries.

Those in attendance will be entertained by well-known, award winning and most demanded SA acts including the likes of Black Coffee, Uhuru, Heavy K, Khuli Chana, KO ft. KidX, Admiral and Jahseed, Thebe, Shimza, iFani, Euphonik, Casper Nyovest and many more. Popular television presenter Lerato Kganyago, Bujy, and Happy K will be celebrity MC’s.

Tickets to the main event are available at all Computicket outlets nationwide for R150 pre sale, R180 at the venue and R500 VIP (VIP includes secured parking, complimentary drinks and a lunch meal). Cooler boxes with cans and plastic bottles are allowed, food and drinks will also be sold inside.

Open parking and disabled facilities are available. Weapons, braai stands, glass bottles, drugs or any harmful objects will not be allowed at the venue. Strictly no under 18’s.

The festivities will be end on a mellow and chilled note at the Sunday Soul Session on Sunday, 28 September 2014 from 12pm midday till 11pm at Dickinson Park by the river banks in Vereeniging.

Acts on stage includes the legendary Ringo, Liquideep, Shwi Nomtekhala, Vinny da Vincy, Wilson B Nkosi, Paul Mtirara, Ishmael Abrahams, Chocolatebar and many more…

Tickets are available at all Computicket outlets nationwide for R120 pre sale, R150 at the venue and R500 VIP (VIP includes secured parking, 1 complimentary drink and a lunch meal). Cooler boxes with cans and plastic bottles are allowed, food and drinks will also be sold inside. Open Parking and disabled facilities available. Weapons, braai stands, glass bottles, drugs or any harmful objects will not be allowed at the venue. Strictly no under 18’s.

This is an all weekend festival you can’t afford to miss after been locked up indoors the whole of winter. So go get your tickets, prepare your outfits, picnic baskets, blankets, folding chairs, umbrellas, etc. and come enjoy a great time outdoors in Mzansi’s beautiful spring weather with interesting people from all nations.

For more info on all events visit http://www.vaalbeachparty.co.za

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