Homosexuality Testing Kit Now Available at Local Clinics

(PIC) A sample of the homosexuality testing kit

(PIC) A sample of the homosexuality testing kit

The ministry of health, under the leadership of Dr. Aaron Motsoaledi, has announced that the homosexuality testing kit will be made available for those wanting to test their homosexuality status.

This follows the controversial homosexuality cure vaccine “breakthrough” announced just a few weeks ago. According to Motsoaledi’s office, the creation of the homosexuality testing kit only made sense.

“Treatment for any health condition cannot commence before and without proper diagnosis. As such, it was only logical that the ministry create a kit that will enable health professionals to accurately diagnose homosexuality, before dispensing the vaccine to patients testing homosexuality positive,” said Joe Maila, national spokesperson for the Department of Health.

Similar to the rapid HIV testing kit, the homo kit will also involve confidential counseling and pricking the patient’s finger to collect a blood sample.

“A drop of the patient’s blood will be placed on the test kit, followed by a drop or two of a diluent. A purple coloured line will appear next to C and T. One line would mean the patient is homosexuality negative whereas two lines means sorry Sir, you tested homosexuality positive.

“For patients testing homosexuality positive, additional blood samples will be send to the laboratory for further aggressive testing. If the results still comes back as positive, appropriate vaccine treatment would then commence to cure the patient’s homosexuality condition,” Joe Maila elaborated.

Dr. Aaron Motsoaledi has urged anyone displaying homosexuality symptoms such as; femininity, a flamboyant dress sense such as colour-blocking, obsession for fashion, liking semi-naked pictures of other men on Facebook, love for Khanyi Mbau and/or Bonang Matheba, knowing all lyrics to Beyonce’s songs including buying all her CDs and DVDs, never missing an episode of Generations, being the centre of the dance floor etc. to quickly visit their local clinics for a homosexuality test before it’s too late.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. “Homo test kid” the world would be a better place wow

  2. christiaan says:

    Not to be crude or anything but being gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight is not a damn disease- its a way of life. Sometimes it by choice, sometimes your born with it and in other ways you are forced down that road by depression, the need to be loved or pure pressure from your parents, work colleagues, friends or even people from your family or church. People need to stop with homophobia its not a real thing (the part to be homophobic) its more a fact that they are scared to be as fearless as the rest of the people to come out and face the world head on. Their fore I challenge anybody and everybody to be heard even if you are straight and accept gay people, join us in october in the gay pride and let your voice be heard. Cause a test to show your gay or straight that’s nonsense. And a cure for being gay is the same as the ANC- empty promises you are nowhere close to getting a cure for homosexuality than you are for aids.

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