“Homosexuality Cure” Vaccine Approved by the Ministry of Health

Bye-Bye Outrageous Outfits: Somizi Mhlongo will be amongst the first gays to receive the vaccine

Bye-Bye Outrageous Outfits: Somizi Mhlongo will be amongst the first gays to receive the vaccine

Today UCT scientists confirmed claims made almost three weeks ago that the cure for homosexuality has been discovered.

The story was received as a hoax almost immediately after going public and was condemned globally by the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community.

According to Dr. Aaron Motsoaledi, Minister of Health, a team of researchers discovered what they claim is a vaccine which can prevent early symptoms or cure humans from homosexuality, if treatment begins at a young age.

On May 8, 2013, the Sunday Time broke the news publicly claiming the vaccine was based on scientific research done in 1959 and published under the title “Organizing action of prenatally administered testosterone propionate on the tissues mediating mating behavior in the female guinea pig” by Charles Phoenix, an American researcher.

Charles Phoenix concluded that “INAH [part of the hypothalamus] is dimorphic with sexual orientation, at least in men, and suggests that sexual orientation has a biological substrate”.

Dr. Motsoaledi stated that injecting specific quantities of testosterone helps to unset the artificial biological unbalance which is thought to occur in roughly 2% of the population. What causes this unnatural balance isn’t clear but research tends to indicate “environmental pollutants” likely found in certain foods may cause an excess of estrogen mimickers.

Xenoestrogen are a type of estrogen mimickers found in synthetic or natural chemical compounds. Synthetic xenoestrogens such as PCB’s, BPA and phthalates have been also been found to have estrogenic effects on living organisms.

South Africa has been struggling with its homosexual problem for decades. Last August the South African national parliament announced a state-sponsored program that provides anonymous treatments for gay people. According to the Sunday Time, the program is supported by 88% of the country.

The news initially saw very little coverage, but South Africa at large have strongly supported production of the vaccine while most other countries including the U.S. have received the news with a good deal of skepticism.

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